Wow, did I ever drop the ball. I pretty much stopped everything, my blog, my weight loss challenge, working out....just completely off the wagon, so to speak. Well, here I am, back on new years eve when all things seem to be possible. The excitement and anticipation of a new year, fresh with no problems or issues, full of promise. I have been here before, many times, with the same intention, to make a resolution and stick to it. So is this time going to be any different?
Well a lot has happened this past fall. Most recently I had my back surgery. It was not as successful as it needed to be. Only one tumour could be removed and I am left with nerve damage in my left foot (damn left foot) making it completely numb and effecting my balance. In that first week of my recovery in the hospital, my hubby and I discussed things we want to do and places we want to go, both realizing that my back is going to continue to affect our lives going forward, in ways that are not yet known. So we both need to live in the now, because it is all we have. We both also realize that we owe it to ourselves and our kids to make our health a priority. That means getting active and in both of our cases, dropping the weight. For me, I know that my body is going to challenge me and I need to be ready, my body, mind and spirit need to be strong because I know I am going to be challenged.
So, I am going to work towards this goal, with my husband at my side. It is no longer a matter of just weight, it is overall health and quality of life that we are working hard for. It still is in line with my goal to be fab inside and out by the time I am 40 years old. I want to make me the priority and make some tough changes in my life. I need to get moving, experiment in the kitchen and do things that make me happy. I need to take the time to have fun, have fun with my kids. Play.....just play with them. My boys are getting older and I want them to have these wonderful memories of me.
As you can see, this "resolution" has more components than just weight, but that sure is a big part of it. This is something I need to do for myself and my family, my health and my life. It is going to be tough and uncomfortable, but necessary. This blog is going to help me talk about my challenges, successes and frustrations along this road. I know that it is going to be something I rely on going forward.
I know I can do this, but I am nervous about failure and my expectations. But I am going to do it, I am going to do it. I can, I must, I will.
My hubby and I weigh in tomorrow....yikes!! Just a starting point an a life journey that we are going to do together!!
Until then, please have a great new years. We are having a low key night at home, watching movies, playing games, and eating the last of the junk from Christmas! This is not a resolution, this is a decision to make me a priority, to put my health first.
Wish me luck. 2012, I need you to be a good one!
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Long Time, No Blog
Life is busy, pretty good, but busy. Okay, the update. No progress on the scale this week, no movement at all. I have not kept a detailed food journal (at least not every day), I eat after 8pm (today is no different) and I have snacked. I am disappointed with myself. I honestly don't know what is holding me back. I want to do better and I know I can, just not sure what I am missing. I start each day fresh, with the best intentions, but somehow I allow myself to do what I know doesn't work for me. Part of the reason is life - lets face it, its busy. But I am not ever going to get away from busy as long as I work full time, am a full-time mom and and full-time wife. Now I do not do all jobs perfect at all times, but my life will not be not busy for many years. And lets face it, other people are just as busy and have found the magic, the time to improve themselves. They make time. We all have the ability to make time for ourselves.
My work weightloss contest starts next Friday. I am on a team with 5 others and we all have to lose at least 10 lbs in 12 weeks. If our team loses the most weight or most reduction in BMI, we all win $200. I am telling you, I feel pressure. It is a totally doable goal, but I don't want to let me team down and we have all seen the lack of progress I have made in a lot longer of a time period. I hope I don't let them down.
My foot is still broken. I am in this dumb robo-boat for at least 2 more weeks, probably more like 3. Very annoying. Just something else in my arsonal of excuses.
Ok, enough complaining. Life is pretty good. Work is busy, but interesting. It is my 10 year wedding anniversary tomorrow and my hubby and I get to go on a date on Saturday. A DATE!!!! NO KIDS!!!! ADULT MOVIE (not porn). I am so excited. We don't get to do this very often, so I am really looking forward to it....REALLY.
Next week ladies - we need to get another goal going. This is a marathon we are running, but we need a little sprint to perk us up and get us some results.
My work weightloss contest starts next Friday. I am on a team with 5 others and we all have to lose at least 10 lbs in 12 weeks. If our team loses the most weight or most reduction in BMI, we all win $200. I am telling you, I feel pressure. It is a totally doable goal, but I don't want to let me team down and we have all seen the lack of progress I have made in a lot longer of a time period. I hope I don't let them down.
My foot is still broken. I am in this dumb robo-boat for at least 2 more weeks, probably more like 3. Very annoying. Just something else in my arsonal of excuses.
Ok, enough complaining. Life is pretty good. Work is busy, but interesting. It is my 10 year wedding anniversary tomorrow and my hubby and I get to go on a date on Saturday. A DATE!!!! NO KIDS!!!! ADULT MOVIE (not porn). I am so excited. We don't get to do this very often, so I am really looking forward to it....REALLY.
Next week ladies - we need to get another goal going. This is a marathon we are running, but we need a little sprint to perk us up and get us some results.
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
What a hectic week!
Hump day and I am exhausted. It has been such a busy week - work, kids, home - but I think I am keeping it together.
So I started the week on the scale - up 0.8 lbs - my luck has run out. But I deserve to have it run out, I was relying on it rather than my own hard work for this weight loss, and I knew that it wouldn't work. So I e-mailed my ladies on Monday morning saying "its on like donkey kong". Now that it is Wednesday, I can say I did not hold true to that entirely.
Out challenge this week is to exercise 3 times this week and to do the detail food journalling. I have not yet done any real exercise, but I have been writing my food journal (I will give you the summary at the end). I also said I would drink my water (yes I have) and not eat after 8pm. I have not stuck to the not eating after 8 this week - in fact, most of my dinners have been around 8, just due to life. But I even snacked after that one of the nights. I am hoping to get better and stronger at that. Stronger willpower.
I have been at a coaching workshop at work the last two days. It was quite insightful and the speaker was so inspirational and powerful. Humans have the want to avoid discomfort. This can be true in all aspects of life, especially in the weightloss category. We have a goal, to weight less, be healthier, but for whatever reason we allow ourselves to get off track, to stray from our goal. We do this because, it is challenging, it is uncomfortable to make a change. What I want to say to myself and my ladies, is it is tough, but the goal needs to be the focus, that needs to become more important than the small things (doughnuts) that give us comfort. Because the comfort is short lived and what you are left with is disappointment with ourselves. Focus on the goal ladies - I will too!
Here is the food journal for you all:
Monday
Breakfast:
2 pieces whole wheat toast with PB
Lunch:
big salad with feta and fat-free italian dressing
carrots
nectarine
Supper:
veggie stirfry
1 cup rice
Snack
Handful of almonds
prezels dipped in chocolate pudding (yummy)
Tuesday:(awful veggie day)
Breakfast:
coffee
oatmeal
Lunch:
1/2 tuna sandwick on ww
1/2 ham sandwich on ww
1.5 cookies
Supper:
2 egg salad sandwiches
Wednesday (so far)
Breakfast:
Nada!
Lunch:
veggie stirfry with 3/4 cup rice
nectarine
Supper: (not yet eaten)
Green salad with chicken and almonds
Thats it for me. I have work to do tonight. I am looking forward to the weekend. I will hopefully have my foot x-rayed on Friday and hopefully, it will be clear and healed, I want to get back to the gym.
PS - my "new years resolution" with organization, is going well. And I know I feel less stressed and I know my family does as well. I hope I can keep it up.
So I started the week on the scale - up 0.8 lbs - my luck has run out. But I deserve to have it run out, I was relying on it rather than my own hard work for this weight loss, and I knew that it wouldn't work. So I e-mailed my ladies on Monday morning saying "its on like donkey kong". Now that it is Wednesday, I can say I did not hold true to that entirely.
Out challenge this week is to exercise 3 times this week and to do the detail food journalling. I have not yet done any real exercise, but I have been writing my food journal (I will give you the summary at the end). I also said I would drink my water (yes I have) and not eat after 8pm. I have not stuck to the not eating after 8 this week - in fact, most of my dinners have been around 8, just due to life. But I even snacked after that one of the nights. I am hoping to get better and stronger at that. Stronger willpower.
I have been at a coaching workshop at work the last two days. It was quite insightful and the speaker was so inspirational and powerful. Humans have the want to avoid discomfort. This can be true in all aspects of life, especially in the weightloss category. We have a goal, to weight less, be healthier, but for whatever reason we allow ourselves to get off track, to stray from our goal. We do this because, it is challenging, it is uncomfortable to make a change. What I want to say to myself and my ladies, is it is tough, but the goal needs to be the focus, that needs to become more important than the small things (doughnuts) that give us comfort. Because the comfort is short lived and what you are left with is disappointment with ourselves. Focus on the goal ladies - I will too!
Here is the food journal for you all:
Monday
Breakfast:
2 pieces whole wheat toast with PB
Lunch:
big salad with feta and fat-free italian dressing
carrots
nectarine
Supper:
veggie stirfry
1 cup rice
Snack
Handful of almonds
prezels dipped in chocolate pudding (yummy)
Tuesday:(awful veggie day)
Breakfast:
coffee
oatmeal
Lunch:
1/2 tuna sandwick on ww
1/2 ham sandwich on ww
1.5 cookies
Supper:
2 egg salad sandwiches
Wednesday (so far)
Breakfast:
Nada!
Lunch:
veggie stirfry with 3/4 cup rice
nectarine
Supper: (not yet eaten)
Green salad with chicken and almonds
Thats it for me. I have work to do tonight. I am looking forward to the weekend. I will hopefully have my foot x-rayed on Friday and hopefully, it will be clear and healed, I want to get back to the gym.
PS - my "new years resolution" with organization, is going well. And I know I feel less stressed and I know my family does as well. I hope I can keep it up.
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
I have a horseshoe up my butt!
By some kind of miracle I was down 2.2 lbs this week!!! I am truly relieved and mystified. I didn't have a terrible week eating, but it wasn't my best. I had pizza - twice and ice cream, I snacked, didn't drink my water.....just not my best week. So it is puzzling that even given all that I managed to be down. Not that I am complaining. It just baffles me that on the weeks that I am strict, to the letter of the law, it is a struggle to be down a pound, let alone 2. But that does not mean that I am sticking to the bad, vacation eating. No way - I am back on track with this fab40 project. I am determined to continue on my weight loss, work with my girls and work on my overall self. Because as I have said, for me, this is not just a weight loss journey, this is an overall life journey. I want to be happier, healthier and more beautiful in mind, body and spirit. My life is by no means broken, I have a lot to be thankful for, I just know that I can make it better and make myself better.
First day of school today for my boys. Brings me back to when I went to school. You guessed it, I was the geek who loved starting school and studying. It was so much fun to get a new desk, new teacher and of course all the new school supplies. Now I get to live it through my kids. It is kind of neat that I get to go through all that again. As I mentioned in my last post, my "new years resolution" is to be more organized. This is a part of me that I know if I made better, not only would I be happier, but my whole family and household would be happier. I think being organized and having a plan can take the stress out of a busy life. This betterment will be harder for me than the weight loss. I know that I can have more weight loss success if I am more organized.
I think our challenge this week is doing 20 to 30 minutes of exercise 3 times this week. I will have to get a bit creative with this one with my broken foot hindering me, but I know I can do it. I think we have a new friend going our challenge and our fight, and I want to welcome her to the team and wish her the best of luck. It is amazing how having a common goal can create relationships and a connection.
I talk to you all later and let you know how my first week back has been. So far, so good!
First day of school today for my boys. Brings me back to when I went to school. You guessed it, I was the geek who loved starting school and studying. It was so much fun to get a new desk, new teacher and of course all the new school supplies. Now I get to live it through my kids. It is kind of neat that I get to go through all that again. As I mentioned in my last post, my "new years resolution" is to be more organized. This is a part of me that I know if I made better, not only would I be happier, but my whole family and household would be happier. I think being organized and having a plan can take the stress out of a busy life. This betterment will be harder for me than the weight loss. I know that I can have more weight loss success if I am more organized.
I think our challenge this week is doing 20 to 30 minutes of exercise 3 times this week. I will have to get a bit creative with this one with my broken foot hindering me, but I know I can do it. I think we have a new friend going our challenge and our fight, and I want to welcome her to the team and wish her the best of luck. It is amazing how having a common goal can create relationships and a connection.
I talk to you all later and let you know how my first week back has been. So far, so good!
Sunday, 4 September 2011
Still eating like I am on vacation
Well I am still off work this week and it sure shows in my eating and drinking patterns. I think part of it has to do with the fact that the scale didn't give me too bad of a number when I got back from my away vacation. So why not gamble this week too and eat willy nilly and see what happens. Well I will have to face that tomorrow morning. I have not been weighing myself daily or multiple times a day as I have this heavy boot on my broken left foot. My ladies and I need to come up with a good challenge this week that will keep me motivated and kick my butt.
It will be good to get back to work. It will help my having a more structured schedule. I do need to figure out what to do in unstructured environments as I hope to take vacation again someday.
Today has been a pretty good day. I spent the morning outside playing with the boys. When the little one napped, I read a book....I haven't done that in a really long time. It has been a good day and I hope I have another one tomorrow. Although, tomorrow I want that to involve drinking the water I need to be doing daily and eating the fruits and veggies.
My sister had a baby girl on Thursday. Her name is Madison Audrey. I am so happy for her and so excited I have a girl to buy for. Part of me was jealous (I seem to have a green monster problem) as although I don't want any more kids, I will always wonder what it would be like to have a daughter. I am sure it is a different dynamic than the mother/son one. I really hope that I do the right things while my kids are small that will make them want to be around me when they are older. I think I am, but it sometimes feels like I am being selfish as I need and want time for myself. The weeks are so busy and with school starting next week and everyone back at work, time will be slim and very valuable. I am going to have to get more organized if I am going to survive it with my sanity and my hair. And I am not organically built to be organized, I have to work on it. I do love September, it has always felt like new years more than January did. So my new years resolution(s) are to be more organized, cook at home, stick to my fab40 project and to be more organized!
I will be in contact with my ladies on Tuesday to figure out our challenge. I am looking forward to the week.
It will be good to get back to work. It will help my having a more structured schedule. I do need to figure out what to do in unstructured environments as I hope to take vacation again someday.
Today has been a pretty good day. I spent the morning outside playing with the boys. When the little one napped, I read a book....I haven't done that in a really long time. It has been a good day and I hope I have another one tomorrow. Although, tomorrow I want that to involve drinking the water I need to be doing daily and eating the fruits and veggies.
My sister had a baby girl on Thursday. Her name is Madison Audrey. I am so happy for her and so excited I have a girl to buy for. Part of me was jealous (I seem to have a green monster problem) as although I don't want any more kids, I will always wonder what it would be like to have a daughter. I am sure it is a different dynamic than the mother/son one. I really hope that I do the right things while my kids are small that will make them want to be around me when they are older. I think I am, but it sometimes feels like I am being selfish as I need and want time for myself. The weeks are so busy and with school starting next week and everyone back at work, time will be slim and very valuable. I am going to have to get more organized if I am going to survive it with my sanity and my hair. And I am not organically built to be organized, I have to work on it. I do love September, it has always felt like new years more than January did. So my new years resolution(s) are to be more organized, cook at home, stick to my fab40 project and to be more organized!
I will be in contact with my ladies on Tuesday to figure out our challenge. I am looking forward to the week.
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
I'm back!!!!
It feels great to be back home after being away for over a week. It is hard to live at someone else's house for over a week, especially with kids. We had fun seeing the in-laws and cousins and beach combing. It was REALLY hard to stay the weight loss course. I find it extremely difficult to drink my water when I am not at work. Also, I know I did not get all the fruit and veggies I am supposed to eat in a day. And....I ate some ice cream! I didn't eat awful but it was really hard to live without a scale. I had no clue. I figured I was doing terrible, so I figured what the hell, I'll eat more.
It was a very scary thing to weigh myself this morning. I am up, but only 0.8. Better than I thought, but still disappointing as I basically wasted 2 weeks of weight loss and for what, some snacks and ice cream. Not worth it. I am ready to refocus and reconnect with my ladies to figure out what this weeks challenge will be. It will be easier this week in the comfort of my own home, but even easier next week when I return to the normal grind.
I had my hair done a week and a bit ago, even had my eye brows and other facial parts waxed. I felt so good about myself. I desparately need a hair straightener to help create the ultimate look. The tough thing was that I was expecting my in-laws to say I looked good or different....they said nothing. They knew I was losing weight and what I was trying to do with my eating, so instead of saying I looked good, they offered me a diet that really worked for them. My sister-in-law is very fit and trim (some natural, but she also works for it). She is such a great person and so much fun to be around. My mom-in-law made a few comments when we were around her that if I was to paraphrase said " your sister-in-law is so thin, you are fat". Now was that what she said? No, but it is amazing how your mind can intrepret things at when you are feeling vulnerable. I know I am overweight, I know other people know I am overweight, so I am not sure why I would expect someone to say or act any different. It is tough when you compare yourself to someone else. It is quite toxic how you can cut yourself down. I did a bit of that when I was away, and it sure didn't help my motivation. You think it would, you see something you are striving for, so it makes you strive harder. It can, but it can also seem so unattainable that why bother. I felt the latter. And no matter what anyone said or didn't say, it was me who made me feel that way.
But I am ready to shake that off, lean on my support system and get myself back into the groove I was having before I left.
The gym will have to be on hold a bit longer as an x-ray of my left foot today shows two fractures in it. Glad the mystery of the swollen, sore left foot is solved, the solution sucks though and means that my weight loss is going to have to come from proper eating alone. But I can and will do it. As my kids have learned in kung fu " I can, I must, I will".
It was a very scary thing to weigh myself this morning. I am up, but only 0.8. Better than I thought, but still disappointing as I basically wasted 2 weeks of weight loss and for what, some snacks and ice cream. Not worth it. I am ready to refocus and reconnect with my ladies to figure out what this weeks challenge will be. It will be easier this week in the comfort of my own home, but even easier next week when I return to the normal grind.
I had my hair done a week and a bit ago, even had my eye brows and other facial parts waxed. I felt so good about myself. I desparately need a hair straightener to help create the ultimate look. The tough thing was that I was expecting my in-laws to say I looked good or different....they said nothing. They knew I was losing weight and what I was trying to do with my eating, so instead of saying I looked good, they offered me a diet that really worked for them. My sister-in-law is very fit and trim (some natural, but she also works for it). She is such a great person and so much fun to be around. My mom-in-law made a few comments when we were around her that if I was to paraphrase said " your sister-in-law is so thin, you are fat". Now was that what she said? No, but it is amazing how your mind can intrepret things at when you are feeling vulnerable. I know I am overweight, I know other people know I am overweight, so I am not sure why I would expect someone to say or act any different. It is tough when you compare yourself to someone else. It is quite toxic how you can cut yourself down. I did a bit of that when I was away, and it sure didn't help my motivation. You think it would, you see something you are striving for, so it makes you strive harder. It can, but it can also seem so unattainable that why bother. I felt the latter. And no matter what anyone said or didn't say, it was me who made me feel that way.
But I am ready to shake that off, lean on my support system and get myself back into the groove I was having before I left.
The gym will have to be on hold a bit longer as an x-ray of my left foot today shows two fractures in it. Glad the mystery of the swollen, sore left foot is solved, the solution sucks though and means that my weight loss is going to have to come from proper eating alone. But I can and will do it. As my kids have learned in kung fu " I can, I must, I will".
Monday, 15 August 2011
T-Minus 4 days!!!
I am on vacation in 4 days - whoot, whoot!! I am so excited. Of course being on vacation will create a challenge in and of itself. I am going to do my very best to stick to what is working for me - no eating after 8pm and cut out starchy carbs.
Success was the name of the day with all my girls dropping some great pounds. I got on the scale and am down 3.2 lbs. That takes me out of the 200's. I told my husband he is no longer married to a deuce! I hope to keep it that way and reduce it even further. It is great that my girls and I all had such a successful week. When you achieve success, you crave more. I hope we can all keep the momentum going.
The challenge this week is 5 servings of veggies a day. At first I thought I had this in the bag, but not so much. I have been really great at eating salads and veg for lunch, but I seem to have it taper off by dinner time. So on first glance I thought the challenge this week would be a breeze, but after not meeting the challenge today, not so easy.
To help me with this challenge, I need to improve my food journaling, take a page from my friend Kelly's page.
Breakfast
1 cup oatmeal
meduim double double
Lunch
2 cups spinach
1/4 cup craisins
20 almonds
2 tsbp calorie wize poppy seed dressing
1 nectarine
Snack
10 cashews
Supper
2 california rolls (white rice - starchy carb, but yummy)
1 Sunomono salad
1 cookie
Snacking after 8 - NO WAY!!!
Water - Not quite today - harder when I have the coffee in the morning
5 servings of veggies - nope - and I am going to find out what a serving is so I can do better tomorrow.
Feeling good about my progress and great about my girls progress. Hope I can beat this challenge tomorrow!
Success was the name of the day with all my girls dropping some great pounds. I got on the scale and am down 3.2 lbs. That takes me out of the 200's. I told my husband he is no longer married to a deuce! I hope to keep it that way and reduce it even further. It is great that my girls and I all had such a successful week. When you achieve success, you crave more. I hope we can all keep the momentum going.
The challenge this week is 5 servings of veggies a day. At first I thought I had this in the bag, but not so much. I have been really great at eating salads and veg for lunch, but I seem to have it taper off by dinner time. So on first glance I thought the challenge this week would be a breeze, but after not meeting the challenge today, not so easy.
To help me with this challenge, I need to improve my food journaling, take a page from my friend Kelly's page.
Breakfast
1 cup oatmeal
meduim double double
Lunch
2 cups spinach
1/4 cup craisins
20 almonds
2 tsbp calorie wize poppy seed dressing
1 nectarine
Snack
10 cashews
Supper
2 california rolls (white rice - starchy carb, but yummy)
1 Sunomono salad
1 cookie
Snacking after 8 - NO WAY!!!
Water - Not quite today - harder when I have the coffee in the morning
5 servings of veggies - nope - and I am going to find out what a serving is so I can do better tomorrow.
Feeling good about my progress and great about my girls progress. Hope I can beat this challenge tomorrow!
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